Twist and Shout

2008-12-31T23:59:00.000-08:00

I've shifted to LJ! shimmytotheleft.livejournal.com

breaking dawn

2008-12-28T07:28:00.000-08:00

Happy day, happy day!

i went to catch Ip Man with Swen today! After that he had to rush off for his cousin's wedding. omg i can't stop smiling. Yesterday after we parted i blew him a kiss from a distance, but he didn't catch it. I made a big hoo haa over it la, haha, so today when i did it again he caught it. It was so funny la because it was very embarrassing ( in a crowd) but i didn't really care. I wanted a proper goodbye than yesterday. After i realised that I haven't been cherishing the people around me. i'm not gonna go into details, because its too cheesy and lame and boring ( as if you guys aren't already bored). Swen is cute la ok.

Oh god, he told me his ex girlfriend wants to meet me la. I was shocked. Now i'm gonna meet his friends, and his ex girlfriend. I guess i'm kind of nervous. I don't think I'm prepared. Besides, I don't even have enough time with him, let alone his friends. urgh i donno i donno.

I miss him already. shucks

Jun Jie

2008-12-27T19:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday had been extreme. extreme in a sense that there had been a mixture of feelings.
i met up with Swen after sooo long, and it totally made my day =) After that i went to school for dance, then performed jive for the first time. I screwed up a little, but they said it wasn't obvious.

Initially, we were supposed to perform the same cha cha routine, and the seniors would perform jive after us, but most of the seniors could not make it in the end, so we had to perform in their place. Some of us were quite disappointed that the seniors couldn't make it in the last minute, such that we had only a few hours to practice and enhance our jive routine.

Nevertheless, we performed, and it wasn't so bad. i guess. Also, the seniors were quite reluctant to lend us the jive costumes, because we had to be good enough to wear them, and the seniors thought it may be too soon for us, but in the end, they agreed to let us use.

After the performance, the the only three seniors who went for our event broke grave news to us. One of our seniors, Jun Jie (who is one of the best dancers in our club), passed away that morning. It was then when i understood why the seniors didn't perform. How could they bear to perform when one of them... Anyway, he was involved in an accident. A hit and run. He was riding his bike with his girlfriend/partner Emi behind, when a drunk asshole driving a trailer hit them. I don't know the exact details, but apparently he flew, and was hit by a second vehicle. He was admitted to the hospital last Sunday , and passed away yesterday.

They went to his wake last night, after the performance. I didn't go because i'm having my period, and apparently its taboo to go to a funeral when you're having your period.
Poor Emi. I think I would need therapy if i were in her place. She survived the accident with bruises, but she lost Jun Jie. They were so inseparable. An inspiration to us all.

I still can't believe that last Friday was the last time I watched them dance. Watched him dance. It dawned upon me that I've been taking people in my life for granted.
Rest in peace, Jun Jie. You will always remain an inspiration to us all.

Chrismas was cold winter without you

2008-12-22T05:00:00.000-08:00

I've been practically busy with dance the whole week, and here's a video of the Junior Formation team. sorry you can't really see the faces because its pixelated. OK I don't know how to spell, I'm quite dyslexic.

Oh ya, if you're trying to find me, I'm at the front of the formation.

The MC really sucks. gosh... you should hear his other commentaries. This was the latest performance, yesterday. Enjoy =)

misery business

2008-12-19T07:50:00.000-08:00

you don't care, you don't care at all. i'm wondering if this whole thing is just one big mistake. like it was before. i was stupid to believe you. i'm not feeling the joy that i should.
It wasn't supposed to be this hard.

decode

2008-12-13T21:03:00.000-08:00

yay yay yay! finally met up! can't wait for sentosaaaa

sometimes

2008-12-09T20:58:00.000-08:00

You tell me you're in love with me
Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
It's not that I don't want to stay
But every time you come too close I move away

I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you right
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

I don't wanna be so shy
Every time that I'm alone I wonder why
Hope that you will wait for me
You'll see that you're the only one for me

I wanna believe in everything that you say
'Cause it sounds so good
But if you really want me, move slow
There's things about me you just have to know

Sometimes I run
Sometimes I hide
Sometimes I'm scared of you
But all I really want is to hold you tight
Treat you righ
Be with you day and night
Baby all I need is time

Just hang around and you'll see
There's nowhere I'd rather be
If you love me, trust in me
The way that I trust in you

shine ,shine ,shine on

2008-12-09T05:52:00.000-08:00

poor luci. I'll be here for you ok? depend on nobody but yourself. you can't depend on anybody to protect you anymore. never make others a priority when you're just an option.

Can't wait to see you girls on saturday!! I've got sooo many things to tell you both, and i'm expecting alot of news and gossips from you two! Luci remember to bring the diary... and my present!

I went to town today, wirth my sis, and gosh, she really spends ALOT on make up. I'm not complaining, really. haha. I get to use them anyway. It's been so long since we went out. just the two of us. =)

sooo happy, i got my shorts ( at a rip-off) , pet chopz pen and 2009 planner too! wheeee

its just the start of the hols, and i've spent so much. gosh!

2008-12-08T04:26:00.000-08:00

a person who bites the hand that feeds him...
...usually licks the boot that kicks him

The Remedy

2008-12-07T05:57:00.000-08:00

Tell him to stop leading you around in circles
Tell him you need something concrete
Tell him you want commitment
Tell him you want him
Tell him that it's been over a year, and he can't keep doing this to you

...tell him

I think my posts are too long

2008-11-19T16:23:00.000-08:00

I look cross-eyed for some reason.

I'm sooooo tired..... I'm having my 8am accounts tutorial now.. yawnnn
List to things to do:
1) FREAKING CRUISE ARTICLE!!
2) IDEA project ( taking "sian" to another level)
3) Marketing project (no idea)
4) do all my statistics tutorials
5) redo all my accounts tutorials
6)do all my accounting labs
7) Actually look and absorb my Geography of Global Tourism notes
8) Study Organizational Management and do tutorials

I seriously need catching up man, if i wanna go to SMU

Anyway, I'm so pissed at my partner right now. I get sooo claustrophobic when I'm with him, and he just keeps sticking to me, and the way he looks at me when we dance is scaring me. AND, he's such an asshole. the formation team's debut is on the 7th of decomber, then yesterday i just asked him casually if we're joining, expecting a "yes", because he didn't say anything, BUT HE SAID HE CAN'T MAKE IT!! irresponsible piece of shit.

dunno what marathon shit i dont care i'm just so pissed. why didn't he say earlier? oh maybe he thinks we have telepathy or something. jerk. i won't be pissed if he told me earlier, for example, the moment he realized that he has something else on. why on earth did i change partner huh? what was i thinking??

I find that i'm always trying to get away from him when i can. he better not have ANYTHING on during the competition. I rather dance alone. then i don't have to keep counting on him.

i can't stand people who always stand me up. i keep getting disappointed.

There i was, trying to perfect my steps partially because I didn't wanna screw up on stage, and POOF, the opportunity is gone. the only partner who did not disappoint me was Kenny. I'm glad he's with Ashley now, they look so good together!

I hate my life. period.

party people

2008-11-18T01:32:00.000-08:00

My collection

you may think its alot, but the family of nailpolishes has diminished! I threw away all the dried up ones, so these are what's left. so as you can see, i'm a more reddish person for nailpolish, except the outcast blue.

twilight

2008-11-17T04:25:00.000-08:00

ok anyway, he was really sick, so i guess i forgive and forget.

Anyway, I really think this particular classmate of mine doesn't like me. I mean, I've been trying to talk to her all year and all i got was just one-word answers. She doesn't even smile at me when i smile at her. oh well, she probably thinks she and her boyfriend are some big hoohaa right now, according to her blog. and no i don't think she's an extremely nice person, so i don't really care if this offends her. actually i dont really care about she and her boyfriend anyway. ay why am i even saying all these. i'm crazy. I just like to read her blog because she and her boyfriend are so sweet, and i wish i have a boyfriend too. but then again her boyfriend is damnnn lame, i wouldn't even wanna trust the rest of my life with someone like him. I'm only saying all these because i have a strong feeling that its me they're talking about on their blogs ( I seem to be the only person they don't like cus they're so friendly with everybody else). well, suck it up, bitch. argh I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO CARE. But i can't help it. I can't stand people hating me , when i didn't even try to make things right. I don't understand why people hate me. primary school, secondary school.... and now poly? sometimes i wish i can be like luci and just forget about it, but i can't.

anyway today my groupmates and i went to vivo and we had fun. took alot of pictures for our project.

i wanna start dating again. i've been too out of touch. why why why is it so hard for me to start dating, while people like luci can just pick up a guy anytime?

anyway these few days i've been soooo late for school, because I can't find anything to wear! seriously, I'm having a wardrobe malfunction! On friday, i spent one and a half hours staring at my wardrobe. Today wasn't so bad, i spent half an hour. I SERIOUSLY HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR! And i've been complaining to whoever who would listen these days. Mom couldn't stand me , so she gave me money to buy clothes, but woe behold, THERE'S NOTHING TO BUY! walao ehhhhhhhhhhh. my wardrobe is virtually full of clothes, but i just can't find anything to wear. Have you ever experienced waking up one day and realizing that you don't have clothes to wear?? It's so sudden, and it's driving me crazy. i think my last resort is blog shopping. That's how desperate i am.

2008-11-13T03:58:00.000-08:00

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? !! I HATE YOU. AAAARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

what part of " never expect anything out from others" do i not understand!!! to think i was looking forward to it. I HATE GETTING STOOD UP! I H-A-T-E IT! I dont care about your excuses anymore.

urgh y can't i stop expecting anything from people! I always get disappointed.

its a good thing it's called off. what was i thinking?? that we'd be together again? i hate myself for being so... cheap.

Whatever you like

2008-11-12T23:13:00.000-08:00

Blackie not eating his vegetables

LOVE THE KIEKIEBABYWACKYPOO, SHO CUTE, SHO HANDSUMM, SHO SMALL, SHO FLUFFY, LOVE HIM! LOVE HIS GUMMY PAWS, LOVE HIS EYEBROWS! YOU CANNOT GROW OLD, YOU CANNOT DIE!!!

yes, this is what i tell my dog EVERYDAY=) nowonder he makes a U-turn whenever i approach him. LOL. my dog is cool because he chooses who he wants to hang out with. and i'm not one of them. not that it matters, i still catch him anyway.

Yesterday's dance was craaaazzehhhh!!! had formation class from 3-5, practice from 5-8, technique from 8-9. I just found out that i'm quite flexible yesterday. I saw ashley doing a back-flip thingy, and i attempted it. I'm such a dare devil =) teehee. I think i injured a ligament or something, can't split properly already =(

I LOVE my GEMS module! Human Diseases, Past, Present and Future. sooo interesting! i miss bio la. I remember back in the good ol' days Luci and i would buy a burger and waterchestnut drink to eat in class. haha. and after class, we would think of ways to get out of school without being caught by our netball coach, or else we would be dragged to training with extra rounds.

Dance was cancelled today,because they had to close off the SAA building.

I'm so worried about the cruise article. I really dont have time. and i cant escape it because Mr Gray made me the group leader la. sian. I really hate the 2 girls who are supposed to do it with me. everytime after the meeting they would rush off, without even trying to plan something. i cant even remember how they look like la, let alone their phone numbers. They just conveniently disappear, so I'll have to do everything or I'll feel bad for Mr Gray. Bitches. I hate people who inconvenient others just to convenient themselves. at least do something la, selfish bitches.

Later I'm going with my classmates to donate blood. And no, i'm not donating. I need blood man, I got low blood. But still, I would want to try donating one day, just to overcome this fear of mine. That is if i'm even qualified to . I'm just gonna watch the procedure today, so i'll know what's in store for me if i were to go.

HSM3

2008-11-09T08:39:00.002-08:00

[Gabriella]
Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.

[Troy, Gabriella]
Won't you promise me (now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)
We'll keep dancing (to keep dancing) wherever we go next

(Chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

[Troy]
Take my hand, I'll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don't be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I'll catch you through it all

[Troy, Gabriella]
And you can't keep us apart (even a thousand miles, can't keep us apart)
'Cause my heart is (cause my heart is) wherever you are

(Chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

[Gabriella And Troy]
Oh no mountains too high enough, oceans too wide
'Cause together or not, our dance won't stop
Let it rain, let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe, that we were meant to be

(Chorus)
It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you (like you)
It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do (way we do)
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

Can I have this dance
Can I have this dance

Yes i watched it. Quite lame la. But not tooooooo bad. i love this song, and this is my favorite part of the movie!

All the romantic guys in the world are attached, dead, or hiding from me.

terri-yucky

2008-11-09T08:27:00.000-08:00

geez soooo tired.... went shopping with sis today, looking for scarfs and headbands. its been such a long time =)
Grandma's been kicking some big hoo-haa drama.
Finally conferenced with luci and aly. though not on the phone, but good enough. looking forward to seeing you gals this weekend!

goodbye weekend! hello tests, essays, projects, tutorials and dance.

2008-11-03T05:58:00.001-08:00

i forgot what its like to date.

nigahiga

2008-11-01T08:25:00.000-07:00

when my cousins were staying in my house for the past two weeks, we stayed up to watch some youtube videos that are on the canadian youtube ( not available in ours), and they're damn funny! like this guy, "nigahiga" , some jap-canadian dude. my sis thinks he's cute la. Apparently, according to my cousins, they're the second best comedians in canada! i hate the soulja boy song. i know its quite irritating, but watch the whole thing, its funny!

This is called "how to be gangster"

and then there were some comments from haters, and this was how he responded.

this video's called "A message to all haters"

schemingness

2008-10-31T05:07:00.001-07:00

YAYYYYY....... the weekends are here!! =) i need to wake up naturally.... seriously. for the past week i've been waking up in shock, because of my alarm, and trust me, it sucks.

this morning i was 1/2 an hr late for my lecture... firstly because its so early, and secondly because i missed my bus. This Indian woman la! walao, damn kiasu man! its like, because the bus was so packed already, so everyone's trying to squeeze in ( i had no choice, was going to be late). but when the guy in front of me was about to board the bus, this Indian woman was like pushing out her extremely huge pair of breasts and like practically pressing them up against everybody ( luckily i didn't kena), and obviously everybody backed off instantly la, cus nobody wanted to touch her breasts, and she was so determined to get on the bus. her breasts were like literally poking people la. Scheming man, use her breasts as weapons to get on the bus. i was so shocked la, cus she was right in front of me. GROSSSSSS...... In the end her plan worked out, and she managed to board the bus, while many others, including myself, didn't. and thus i was late. URGH. sheming woman. SERIOUSLY, if you guys wouldn't believe it if you haven't seen it! ..... which means you guys probably don't believe it, but ITS TRUE!! LOL.

The only way to tackle these type of people, is to go and insist on squeezing into the bus even if it means having her breasts pressed up on you. she surely wouldn't expect it. but then again, who dares? scheming, scheming woman.

2008-10-28T07:47:00.000-07:00

i'm making everyone in my life leave me..

baby blue eyes from afar

2008-10-25T01:58:00.000-07:00

walao eh, stalker dude

hey! i'm on the news!!

and yes, Aly and I are on vogue... omg you didn't know?

geez only one small boy came to look at my picture at the photo gallery. sian.

Ok i know, that was lame. teehee. Yu ting taught me her mojo. i miss Luci and Aly... i wonder if luci remembered to give aly her present. luci promised to call that day but she didn't. what's new? she's got her own life now. busy with Myles. busy with the guys. and now, busy with school i guess. she doesn't call me for fun anymore. she only calls when there's an occasion. i tried calling her but she always said she'll call back, and never does. we didn't meet much during the holidays cus she was lazy. i don't feel like part of her life anymore. and everytime i think of it, tears form in my eyes. i miss the good days. i miss the times when we would call each other everyday, and we would make it a point to meet every saturday. i don't feel like her best friend anymore. she's got a more fun/ happening crowd with her. guess i should feel happy for her anyway. people change and move on. i should change and move on.

i met clarissa yesterday. she said she was hanging by my school and wanted to meet up. i was on my way to school when she called me. and when we hanged up, i couldn't fall back to sleep. i was scared and nervous. i wanted to call luci for advice, as i always did, but i was sure she'll wanna go back to sleep, so for the first time in my life, i faced clarissa without luci by my side. it was new and scary to me, but i told myself i had to stop expecting luci to always be there for me and grow up. when am i going to grow up?

i just showed my canadian cousins my frog disection videos because they requested to see. i couldn't stop laughing at the things we said, and at the same time, i felt nostalgic. at that time luci and i were inseparable. at that time nothing could challenge our friendship. except maybe yilei. i'm still proud of our friendship then. but now, i've never felt more alone.

another one bites the dust

2008-10-16T01:12:00.000-07:00

first week of school has been greattt... no homework, seldom need to bring the labtop.

cousins from canada are staying at my place for two weeks, which means NO PEACE AND QUIET!!! urghhh... i'm not used to having guys at home... i'm obligated to wear a bra.

everybody thinks "womanizer" sucks, but i like it leh

oh yeah my cousins gave us TUB of gummybears! wheee.

on a lighter note, you've thought me to be independent, as well as not to expect too much out of people. wait. i've never expected too much. you've taught me not to expect anything from anybody. you have your own life now, and i guess i'm not part of it. but its ok. i have myself.

expectation is the root of all disappointments. so don't expect anything. that's my theory.
i mean, if you expect something to happen, and it happens, then its an accomplishment. but when it doesn't happen at all, that just sucks. the greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment. its like losing all hope. losing all faith. i think i'll just expect bad things to happen. like that, if it does happen, i'm prepared, and if it doesn't, i'll feel good. don't blame me for being a pessimist. i've been disappointed too long.

Welcome home, Love!

2008-10-07T05:05:00.000-07:00

we went to collect blackie today. Poor boy was so happy to see us! He's OK, but in alot of pain. Poor blackie, he went through all the pain for nothing. turned out the operation had complications. they've never seen a case like his before. and there's nothing they could do about it. But he's ok, and that's all that matters to me. the test results will be out in a week. i hope to hear good news this time. i just don't know what to do if anything happens to him.

all of the things that i thought were so easy, just got harder and harder each day

2008-10-06T01:08:00.000-07:00

I screwed up for GEMS. i logged in on time, but all the slots are taken. crap. I HATE THE SYSTEM.

I'm so worried. i hope my baby's alright. I can almost feel his pain. He's operation should be over now. I think i'll never have another dog after him, for fear it leaving me. what a bad day.

i planned to go shopping but i have too many things on my mind.

i miss blackie.

we wanted to pass him his blanket, so he'll have something from home, but the nurse said they didnt allow it, because the last time the lost the blanket, the owner actually made her colleague kneel down and apologize. what the hell is wrong with singaporeans. now my blackie cant have his blanket because of that asshole.

i vividly remember the look on his face when the doctor took him away from us. my heart broke at that sight. words can never substanciate how much we love him. even if the surgery wiped out my bank account, its worth it. its worth it.

in reality, i'm alone. its not the best feeling in the world,but i'm not complaining.

Lewis Hamilton, MARRY MEEEEEE!

2008-09-28T09:27:00.000-07:00

I'm so angry with myself! URGHHHHHHHH
Clutzzzzzzzzz!
I just came back from work.And before I left, I spilled coke on myself in front of a very important/ funny/charming guest. His dad is one of the drivers. dammit. why do these things always happen to me.

I was extremely angry with myself, and was taking it out on myself and kenny just now. damn i feel bad. i just wanted to be alone.
As much as I would like to run away and hide, I will not, and I will perform better tomorrow.

I refuse to make another mistake.

disappointment yet again.

Oh ya Hamilton got third place. But he scored the most points, and that's all that matters. In F1, its important that you get the most points, because some drivers like to cut the tracks to cheat.

IT'S OK HAMMIE! There's next year. and you're still my favourite racer. Who cares bout Alonso.

While I console Lewis, I might as well console myself.

IT'S OK JILL! People spill drinks all the time. Just that you're more clumsy than most people. And you better apologise to Kenny tomorrow for taking it out on him.

I think I'm crazy.

Take a chance on me

2008-09-22T04:15:00.000-07:00

I'm 17!!! big deal. anyway, my birthday was a blast =) wouldn't have had it in any other way.

I was supposed to meet up with luci, but she was sleeping, so i didn’t wanna spend my birthday waiting for her, so i went to Newton circus with mom for lunch. walao eh, there was some lame hoo haa drama lor. then, mom and i went to Holland village to shop cus I’ve never been there, then we picked Jie up and then we went to Anderson’s for ice-cream, after which we caught Mama Mia. it was a good show alright. if you can't appreciate musicals, DON'T watch it. you'll think its cheesy and lame. But we enjoyed it. I fell sick before the movie =(

I went to Ritz Carlton today for my F1 orientation. OMG THE GUEST RELATIONS MANAGER IS A REPLICA OF BEN AFFLECK!!! he gave us a little tour, but i wasn't listening. he's just damn good looking. And he even invited us to join him for dinner at the staff canteen. lol, but I had to meet my classmates for dinner to celebrate my birthday. walao eh, I didn’t go for dinner with Ben Affleck cus of you all lor. but still, the food was YUM, people were YAY. big thanks to Dennis and Jian Wei . =) you guys are so sweet! Actually, Ben Affleck's name is Jose ( pronounced as " ho-say") I think he's French. LOVE THE ACCENT! Looking forward to work now =)

Blackie's scaring me now with the weird snoring noise he's making beside me.

I feel like a stalker. I like to look at Arthur’s Friendster and admire the life he has. He’s damn rich, damn good looking, damn sporty, damn smart ( VJC), and has a damn pretty girlfriend. Arthur’s this guy I had a crush on for my entire primary school life by the way. He’s damn nice too. And he doesn’t flirt, and he’s shy… damn cute la. What an all rounder. Everytime I look at his Friendster I really wish I studied harder for my O’levels and went to a good JC. (Preferably his) But oh well. Here I am in poly. Where survival of the fittest is the way things work. Poly is just too…. Independent. I need that push factor to make me study. I miss uniform. I miss normal school days when we start at 7.30 am and end at 4 or 5pm. I miss my friends.

This is the part where reality slaps me in the face and I have to force myself to stop regretting and move on. I’ve already destroyed my life.

twist and shout

2008-09-18T07:13:00.000-07:00

Contrary to yesterday, today has been one of the best days i've had... since the last happy day.

well, i had a great start to the day, got to talk to Dad, then i went to parkway with mom to have Mos Burger's for lunch. I've been eating at Mos Burger's for years... and I've never tried The Mos Burger, LOL. So i gave it a shot today, and it was good. Then we went shopping at parkway. Mom bought a skirt, bought me a t shirt from esprit, and pink fluffy slippers to wear at home. HOORAYY. Well, there's nothing much you can buy from parkway anyway. After that Mom gave me a lift to bedok MRT ( i had to go for dance). I was in a good mood today, so i was in the mood to dance =) yay.... and Huiming and Yi Han baked my favourite orange cranberry muffins for my birthday! SOOOOO sweet of them! We got our club tee today, and our technique class fees are subsidised by 2/3! wow! Technique class, by the way, is very expensive. $15 per lesson. And on the one hour bus ride home, i was listening to the radio, and irt played all the songs i like! not one single black rapping shit! wheeeee....

Oh yeah, on the train ride to school, something really funny happened. I noticed this cute guy standing beside me. he looked like a chinese american, prolly 21? then before i knew it he showed me a message on his phone, saying " hey, i think you're really cute. mind grabbing a cup of coffee with me later?" something like that. I said" sorry, i don't meet people like this" . He typed" ah, ok... i would really like to talk to you, just that you've got your headphones on, haha" i kept my headphones on, and i just smiled ( cus he's really cute) so we just kept talking like that, by typing messages. lol, super ridiculous! He said his name is John, and he's from Manila ( he has a pretty nice/natural american slang btw) . he also said that he's leaving in two days, and he wanted to do a crazy thing like going out with a stranger. i was thinking: what an asshole. so i just kept politely saying no la. The next thing i know, we were in a conversation, and he's quite a nice guy to talk to. LOL. He asked for my number, but i said no, then he wanted to give me his number, but i said nevermind,its ok. hahaha. before he alighted, he said " well, all the effort was not in vain, because at least i made you smile " then he smiled at me and left. Even though he's a Fillipino, he's really cute lor, and extremely charming. lol. He lifted my mood a little, because he's really nice ( ya la i know all that shit bout strangers acting nice) , and really charming. Very nice light brown eyes too. Aiya he totally doesnt look/sound like a Fillipino la. Crazy experience.

"once you learn how to die, you learn how to live"

2008-09-17T07:24:00.001-07:00

i feel lousy. i can't dance. i'm fat.

oh me, oh my

2008-09-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

Went to Luci's house today to watch luci and josh jam. I must say, Josh has a great voice. =) . Myles came along too, and I quite like him. He's nice. though we only exchanged a few words. Its the first time singing in front of a stranger for me, hahaha. Can't get "whistle for the choir" outta my head. Super catchy.

Then i went to school for the first Jive lesson. Jive is freaking hard! Its those kinda dance that those black americans are damn good at. Super fast, super energetic... super painful... I've got blisters at the balls of my feet now, cus for Jive, half the time you're hopping on tipped toes.

Change of plans, not going ice-skating tomorrow, cus apparently Swen's too sick. Put on drip and all. Keep vomiting and has a headache. I bet it's overdose of alcohol. He's always like that. He's always out drinking the day before meeting me, then he'll be too drunk/tired/sick to go out. Whatever dude, I'm never gonna go out with you again. Looks like you missed the train.

I've gotta learn not to expect too much out of people, or even look forward to anything ever again. Because i'll always end up disappointed. always.

I'm so upset now. But I'm gonna think of something to do tomorrow. I refuse to let my day be ruined because Swen can't meet me.

run baby run, don't ever look back

2008-09-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

GEEZZZ.... met up with Luci after a billion years... she was an hour late, as usual. we went to run our errands and had Chippy's for dinner, then she went to work and i went for dance.

I don't feel like celebrating my birthday this year... I don't know why. I feel that its redundant. Like, after all the singing and the cake and the presents, then what? the day would be over and life goes on what. I don't feel excited anymore. I don't even expect presents. Oh I've got my first present already, from Mom and jie. They got me a bagful of stuff from Borders, Paperchase. Loves. Yay I finally have the music tin pencilcase i eyed for! Its black, with radios, cassettes, ipods, guitars, headphones and speakers on it. LOVE. =)

Looking forward to watching luci and josh jam, meeting Myles and dance tomorrow. By the way, I SO DID NOT INVITE MYSELF TO JAM CAN!! you suck la Luci. Now Joshua thinks I'm a loser. Thanks ah, you stupid girl.

So Contagious

2008-09-08T09:16:00.001-07:00

Well, for the past few days, i've been staying at home watching Boston Legal season 4 and Supernatural season 3. Occasional outings with the family too. I just got back from my class chalet too. It was ok la.... I was there for like what, 2 hours? LOL.

Anyway, on the loonnggg train ride home, I decided to listen to the old songs on my handphone. I came across " the Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani, The song Luci and i used to sing a duet to whoever who would listen, LOL. And then there was "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White Tees. The first time i heard this song was like.... 2 years ago. when Yuji played it on the guitar and sang it to me. =) It's such a beautiful song... and he had such a beautiful voice. Yuji and his ringer tees, shoelace belts, moshpits, skateboard and Nazi guitar. He, in fact, was the first guy who sang to me, the first guy i went on a real date with, and the guy who made me so attracted to guys who can play the guitar as well as sing. I still remembered how he asked for my number.

It was after work at the Expo, and he stopped me and said," hey, we should have coffee sometime." He was just soo cute la, . I didn't give him my number, as I never do with strangers, so I gave him my email address instead. But as I got home i was soo worried that he typed the wrong email address into his phone. If he did so, I'll never get a chance to speak to him again, as it was the last day of work. So, I shamelessly gave my ex boss a call to ask for his number, and i texted him first. Lol, what a loser, BUT, I'm glad i did, because apparently Yuji DID type in the wrong email address. =D

Mhd Yuji Kumagai has a new girlfriend now... well, they've been together for more than a year.. and they seem happy, so I'm happy for him.

I miss you, Icepop Yuji. You still owe me that song you wrote - "Christmas Was Cold Winter Without You".

Love for a child

2008-08-31T06:30:00.000-07:00

This is a deeper version of Jason Mraz's "Love For A Child". I kinda like this cover. I think a lower key makes it more soothing. What do you think? Anyway, this guy's called "singingdork888" and he's pretty good. You should check out his other cover versions.He kinda looks like Keanu Reeves and my uncle, but my uncle doesn't look like Keanu Reeves. Ahh whatever.

I think ALL guys should learn to play the guitar. Cus even if you're ugly, it makes you look charming. Well,to me at least. But if you're already good looking to begin with, hahaha, even better. =D

skyway avenue

2008-08-30T03:52:00.000-07:00

Today was a blast! Went to Sentosa with Alfred, Andrew, Eter and Luci. Aly's grounded, so she didn't come. As for Joshua, well, god knows why. The weather was great for tanning! we played touch rugby , and volleyball. hahaha, Luci and I just stood at one corner to stay invisible while the guys were performing all kinds of dives and stunts to save the ball. Then Kenneth came to say hi. Apparently NUS was having some function, so he was in Sentosa. I'm damn drained.

The Man Who Can't be Moved, by The Script

2008-08-29T03:21:00.001-07:00

URGGHH... the other videos can't be embedded. Sian. Please ignore the hearts, they irritate me too.

Quando, Quando, Quando

2008-08-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

This holiday, I'm going to do something I never thought i would. Something heroic. Something I just thought of actually- i am going to meet up with Clarissa and Yi Lei!

For those who don't know, they have been my best friends over the period of Sec 2-4. But we fell out and apparently we haven't talked since.

I have been avoiding meeting them. Part of me has too big an ego. And the other part, well, the other part of me is scared. I'm scared of losing. I'm scared that they would bombard me with sarcasms and statements and stuff, and that I'll be unable to come up with a good come back. And worse, cry. I'm just very emotional when it comes to these kinda things. I always, ALWAYS , end up breaking down in tears. Luci's a pretty good witness- she'd been through all of them with me.

I guess, with every holiday comes a new resolution. Starting from this holiday anyway. This holiday, I am going to face these two people. With resolutions like this for every holiday, I'll always return a better person. I think its useless to spend each holiday on having fun alone. What's gonna happen after all the fun anyway? You spend those money to have fun, and then what?

This is a huge-ass mission for me, by the way, meeting up with Clarissa and Yi Lei. My last conversation with each of them ended up with slamming the phone or walking away ( super abrupt). However, besides the numerous conflicts we had, I still miss the good times. I feel that its time i take off my hat, get off my high horse and face them. Get this over and done with, and put the past behind- for real. Its now or never, literally.

I have a problem with letting go. I just can't live my life knowing that there are these two people out there who hates me (I'm sure there are more, but I don't really care about them). Despite all the egoistic talks about how I'm better off without them in my life and all, part of me still care about them. I care about them. I mean, they're not bad people, and neither am I, so why can't we fix this.

Come on Jill, you can do this! ( yeah I do loserish things like motivate myself, cannot uh?)

No Me Ames

2008-08-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

I was so bored studing for Econs yesterday that i decided to paint little bolts of lightning on my nails, HAH.

YAY today's the last of my exams! Looking forward to the holidays now! I feel like i've been daydreaming the past few days, kept studying, drifting off to sleep , waking up with guilt, studying, drifting off to sleep... and the cycle goes. well, I'm glad its all over ... for now.

Anyway, here's some of my plans for the holidays :

1) Ice skating

2) Sentosa

3) Back to school with Luci and Aly to collect the stupid o'level certs which have probably gone all old and moldy while waiting for us to collect

4) meeting up with ppl whom i haven't met for eons

5) not to forget hanging out with luci and aly again! wheee

6) dance and technique classes

7) tuition

8) working at Ritz Carlton for the F1

9) Ice cream tour/treats with the old man

10) Endless hours of TV shows online

And that's all i can think of for now. Before i wrote the list i was so excited about the holidays. But after i wrote it, i realised that with what measly number of things you can do in Singapore, what's there to look forward anyway. my life is mundane. i need an adventure ! and i don't care if its as lame as the journey to the center of the earth. gawwd

"I'll see you when I see you"

2008-08-24T05:35:00.000-07:00

So much for " good/best friends we shall be".

crush by david archuleta

2008-08-24T05:30:00.000-07:00

I hang up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time
Deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
Cause the possibility
that you would ever feel the same way
About me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

Has it ever cross you mind
When were hangin, spending time girl,
Are we just friends
Is there more, is there more
See it's a chance we've gotta take
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last, last forever, forever

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

Why do I keep running from the truth
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I just got to know

Do you ever think
When you're all alone
All that we can be
Where this thing can go
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it really just another crush
Do you catch a breath
When I look at you
Are you holding back
Like the way I do
Cause I'm tryin, tryin to walk away
But I know this crush aint goin away, goin away

misery business

2008-08-24T05:23:00.000-07:00

I've just had the worst day in a long time.for the entire day, I've been plagued with terrible cramps. Urghh, its the time of the month when i get the near-death-experience again. Its like somebody plunged a hand into my stomach and squeezed my insides, my legs go numb and my back aches like hell. why does mine have to be so tormenting? oh my god, here it comes again.

Leaving

2008-08-21T00:55:00.000-07:00

Kiekiebabywackypoo
Well, as we all know, it's the exam period. And besides last minute revision, i've been shopping. Bought so many things- stationary, clothes, socks, ice cream, clips, nail polish etc. so happy! Shopping IS therapeutic, and, its a stressful period afterall =D ok fine, that's the lamest excuse, but that's the best I've got.
One last paper to go and i'll have 3 weeks to myself. the last week's for the F1. Oh i got in by the way! Ritz Carlton club lounge =( I expected guest relations, because it's "rooms division" afterall. Oh well, I'll just have to make the best out of what I've got. I'm sure It'll be a great experience. So exciting!

If you're gonna keep playing this "hide-and-seek" game with me, I've got all the time in the world. Just don't expect me to pretend that nothing has happened. And don't expect things to go back to where they were. You don't even know me enough to even say that I've changed.

The Calendar Girl

2008-08-11T03:39:00.000-07:00

What a happy two consecutive days! Actually Friday was equally happy, but because I didn't do much on saturday, so i can't call it "four consecutive days".

Yesterday I caught "The Mummy" with Swen, and we had dinner at Aston's. The ambience was so romantic, as we had dinner at the balcony, under the moon and what little stars the skies of Singapore has to offer. One thing I just love about going out with Swen is that i never have to worry about coming home late. I told him before that I had a curfew of 9pm (last time), and EVERY time we go out, I was home before 9. Even yesterday, when I didn't tell him. Actually I totally forgot about the curfew la, because I didn't have one yesterday, but still, he remembered.

Today's such a Happy Day! Mom dropped Jie and I at parkway, and we went shopping! I got this new pen from Paperchase that is so extremely adorable! And the best thing was that the freaking cashier was damn freaking cute! When i went over he said "hi" to me, and i said it back. =D Ok I know that maybe its his job to say "hi" and all, but it felt personal, you know? like we were having a "moment". Usually the cashier greets before you pass the stuff over the counter or he/she won't say it at all, but he said it after I passed it, so it felt personal. He's damn cute la! And and, when i was leaving i turned around to look at him and he was looking at me too =D Too bad I was in a hurry, because mom was waiting, or i'll hang around a little while more. Shucks =(. Then, I got my ice-cream, and we went my bedok house just to get our favorite bubble tea, then to Beach Road Prawn Mee for lunch and then we dropped by Luci's house to get the working clothes she borrowed eons ago ( but she took returned the wrong one. what a Luci).

That's not the end of my Happy Day! Ms Chen just called to tell me that she chose me for the Ritz Carlton interview! HOORAYY! i was like jumping around when she was talking to me la! The Ritz Carlton job is, by the way, a damn good job offer! Its like $10.50 per hour la for 3 days for the F1. and we get paid $6 an hour for the two training days too! And putting aside the financial benefits, it is a damn good experience! especially for people in my course. Boy i wish i'll get in . I don't mind the one by Kelly services too, as Luci and Aly got in.

Don't worry la, girls, I have no intention of getting back with Swen. I know that i'll be miserable again and all. As Luci said, It's the freaking 21st century, and we can choose the best for ourselves. Never settle for anything less than the best for ourselves. Fair enough.

I think I should stay single for a while. It's the best feeling: no obligations, no worries, no paranoia. Wait a minute, I've always been single.Anyway, here's to singlehood =)

Lucky - Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillet

2008-08-08T05:57:00.000-07:00

Do you hear me? I'm talking to you

Across the water across the deep blue ocean

Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams

I feel you whisper across the sea

I keep you with me in my heart

You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes

Waiting for a love like this

Every time we say goodbye

I wish we had one more kiss

I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea

To an island where we'll meet

You'll hear the music, fill the air

I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breeze is through the trees

Move so pretty you're all I see

As the world keeps spinning round

You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend

Lucky to have been where I have been

Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love in every way

Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed

Lucky to be coming home someday

( I love this song)

One Step At A Time

2008-08-08T05:29:00.000-07:00

TODAY WAS A BLASSSSSTTTT!! I had my last Econs tutorial, and can I just say that I have the freaking best tutor EVER? Mrs Lusia Tan, best freaking teacher in my life! Many may say that she's wierd and crazy, but I don't care, she makes me wanna be better, and to me, that's what makes a good teacher. I mean, anybody can be a teacher what, but how many good teachers are there?

So after class, I rushed down to Temasek Polytechnic to meet luci ( her "surprise" was her eyebrow piercing, didn't look that bad though) and aly, and a whole bunch of people. I met so many people today, new people as well as people whom I haven't seen for eons. Let me see.... I met Luci, Aly, Luci's classmates (Yuka, Jonathan, marcus), Aly's cute classmate Brian ( I can't remember the names of the rest), Jacqueline, Yan Yang, Nicholas, Desebelle, Kin Heng and Zhe Cong. I sat in for their Organizational Behavior lecture, and it was quite interesting, with Marcus's "best friend" and FUG. LOL. Oh yeah, I met Swen's friend, Gerald, on the train. I was damn surprised that he even remembers/ recognizes me la. He smiled at me and I smiled back. He's quite good looking with his uniform, teehee.

Then after the lecture , Luci, Aly, Brian and I headed down to Tampines Mall to have dinner as well as catch " The Journey To The Center of the Earth". LOL. I felt so nostalgic in the East la. The East is the place to be. The East is home. Anyway, THE MOVIE WAS FREAKING LAME! Not worth the money or the time, but we all had a good laugh.

Ah, it was a good day. Can't wait for you all to come to SP. Anyway, TP is indeed fun. It gave me a warm, cosy feeling as it is compact, but in a good way. Sp is too widely- spread out, such that we always hang out in our own schools.

I certainly enjoyed my day today, especially because I met so many friends. =)

To go , or not to go

2008-08-07T06:11:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm being indecisive again. Ok , so here's what happened. I was asked to audition for Miss Singapore Polytechnic by my friends from the Student Union ( as they're organizing it), but i still can't decide if i should go. All my friends are for it, but my family are against it. Tomorrow's the last day for audition, so i have not much time left. So i'm gonna do what indecisive people do, that is, make a list of pros and cons of going for Miss SP.

Pros: 1)It's gonna be fun

2) I'm gonna meet new people

3) I'm gonna meet cute guys

4) It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity

5) I'll be too busy during my 2nd and 3rd year

6)I'm gonna learn a new dance

7) I've got friends in the Student Union

8) I wanna prove to myself that I'm not afraid of stage activities

Cons: 1) I'm letting myself be OPENLY judged

2)People are gonna scrutinize me and compare me with others

3) If i lose, it'll be embarrassing

4) If i win, I'll be judged and scrutinized everywhere i go on campus

5)and the worst thing is, what if i bring the school's standard down?

6) How can I represent my school?

7)My brain frequency is slower on stage- what if i can't answer the questions?

8)I have no talent to display

9) I'm supposed to meet luci and aly tomorrow at their school. If i go for the audition, i might not be able to meet them... And i don't want to disappoint my friends again... for my own selfish reasons.

See, its that " inner debate" thingy that's going on in my head. THAT'S WHY I'M INDECISIVE! AHA! now there's a reason . how, how, HOW?

Potato chips and chocolate milk for dinner. HAH!

The remedy

2008-08-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to blog about, that's why i haven't been blogging. So, I'll make a list of YAYNESS , simply because i have nothing better to do :

-Yay today's tuesday, means i will be on the couch from 8 to 11, wahahar, tuesday nights rock.
-Yay i should be heading down to TP this friday to meet luci and aly and to collect my o'levels' cert. gosh, i bet we're the last ones la. Was supposed to go last week but i had that minister's dialogue. oh well. luci your surprise better be good.
-Yay tanning this saturday . too bad for aly
-Yay my projects will all be over and done with by Thursday
-Yay I'm starting my dance technique (rip-off) classes this week
-Yay i'm getting new dance shoes soon
-Yay the holidays are drawing nearer
-Yay i changed the color of my nail polish to nude
-Yay i've got a tuition job ( great way for quick cash)

The "list of yayness" is the most positive i can think of. And that's all for now, until I've got something interesting to talk about. my life is so mundane.

Kiss me

2008-07-29T06:57:00.000-07:00

Kiss me out of the bearded barley

Nightly beside the green green grass

Swing swing swing the spinning step

You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress

Oh kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor

Lift your open hand

Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

Silver moons sparkling

So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house

Swing me upon its hanging tire

Bring bring bring your flowered hat

Well take the trail marked on your father's map

Man I Need A Tan

2008-07-25T04:32:00.000-07:00

Now I know my hair sucks from the side

Hooray the weekends are here! Can finally go tanning after 10 billion years la. I think the last time i tanned was a month before poly. gosh. But after this weekend i'll be beesay. Mom got me a tuition job (her friend's kid) and my exams are around the corner!

Can't wait for tomorrow, when we're supposedly going to tan. Honestly, I'm keeping my fingers crossed about whether it'll still be on, but oh well. I hope we'll have a sunny morning tomorrow. The weather's been literally crazzehh lately! Intolerable hot days and rainy days are random.

PLEASE PLEASE LET IT BE A SUNNY DAY TOMORROW. A sunny morning at least. I'm quite desperate to get a good tan.

The Sweet Escape

2008-07-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

   Oh my gawdd... Very GLAM uh, this pic!

   There is a saying, that you'll only see for yourself the people who truly care for you in times of crisis. I second that.

I have a friend, who was always playing clown and fooling around whenever she could, but when times got serious, it was as if she grew 10 years older. The reason being she delights in making people laugh, thus the clowning around. But she herself had her own problems, which she didn't wanna implicate on others. Therefore she resorted into wearing masks. There were times i took her for granted. I was so used to her being a clown , that i got carried away with my teases, and she was hurt. But nevertheless, she still stood by me. We both agreed to tell each other whenever we don't like anything we say. At first it was a little awkward, but as time passed we grew accustomed to this new , honest habit. And from then on, I knew there was nothing i could not tell her. It wasn't that i had any obligation or anything, but i just trusted her completely. We had no obligations at all, and that, to me, was what friendship was all about. During times when the whole world was against me, the only thing that kept me from giving up was knowing the fact that i still had her. And it meant the world to me. It didn't matter what the cliques thought of us, because we both know that out friendship is worth more than all of theirs' put together. Her name is Luciana.

Even now, when we're in different schools, with different schedules, we still make it a point to call each other once in a while, just a reminder that we still care. Sometimes i just feel so lonely, even when i'm surrounded by people. It really touches me to see her leaving a comment for me, or passing on a bit of wisdom. It was one of the only times i that i feel... loved. of course, my family are, without a doubt, always behind me. but what i'm trying to say is, Luci is family. She's like the twin i never had.

I have many friends, but i only have one best friend, whom i'm so proud of. I'm proud of who she is, and i'm proud to be her friend. Even when everybody else is against me, i know that besides my own family, I'll still have my best friend. And that is more than i can ask for. How many can actually feel that way? Exactly my point.

You may think that, this is a random lesbian post. i just wanted to take the time to be grateful, to appreciate what i'm blessed with. and to remind myself that i am lucky to have already found a life-long friend. Words can never be enough to substantiate how grateful i am to have such a friend. One who cares more about about me than everybody else in my friendster contact list put together. She makes me wanna be a better person. She makes me think I deserve better. Our friendship is not superficial.

Thanks, Luci.

Maybe baby

2008-07-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

It's damn hard to live up to others' expectations. Like I know i can't screw up because everybody's watching me. It's not easy. I can't stand to let others down as well. The only person I can afford to let down , is myself. And hell, I'm good at that.

I never thought that I

Had anymore to give

You're pushing me so far

Here I am without you

Drink to all that we have lost

Mistakes we have made

Everything will change

But love remains the same

Luciana Yuka Si Hui Chong

2008-07-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

it was really good to see you today, luci. Really.... i'm so happy to see you again.

this one's for you

2008-07-04T23:20:00.000-07:00

As for Danial. Well, he has really been a hellava good friend to me. He was always there for me. I admit it was kinda weird when i could feel that he was becoming too nice, or when he stares at me a little longer than he should, but all the more, Danial, THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME AND BELIEVING IN ME. I do not blame you for the dancesport thingy so don't worry. I fully understand your position. don't take it too hard on yourself ya? And erm, sorry i haven't been talking to you lately. I haven't really been at my tip-top condition lately. I promise i'll be better. soon.

Good/Best friends we shall be... always.

(yes i found you. again)

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colours

2008-07-04T22:39:00.000-07:00

Dilusional. Yup, that's what i am. Literally. Even after the self-motivational post i still find myself procrastinating about my work. Shit, what is wrong with me!

Anyway, I know you all are damn sick of this already, but i'm gonna talk about him again, and hopefully this will be the last.

I know he'll never be mine. I don't know if he's just hiding it or what, but he's doing fine without me. Now when i look at the dates we went out on my planner, i find it surprising that i still remember what i wore on that day, because i took every date seriously. I would only shave my legs if i'm going out with him, other than that, i don't really care. I regret not hugging him goodbye on our last date. I miss his strong arms around me, his fingers between mine, his soft lips on my cheeks, his hand on my lap, those gentle brown eyes. Especially those eyes. Ya i know these are typical couple stuff la , that's what i would think so too, but to me, these are not typical. Not at all. Till now, every time i smell Bvlgari Avua, my chest tightens. I miss him more . And i recognize the scent like its what i smell everyday. It'll be our 7 months next saturday. Gosh, i've been crying over spilt milk for 3 months. I can't believe i've made it this far, 3 months without him. It still hurts every time i see him online and he doesn't open a window to talk to me. "was it all that easy to put aside your feelings?" I wonder if he thinks of me as often as i think of him. He's still the first thing i think of every morning, and the last, every night. I wish I held his hand just a little while more. well, I'm glad you're doing good, baby. You know i miss you. Gosh, I miss you so much.

" i just want one full day with you, for us to talk about our past, our present, and our future. to just talk about us"

Wordplay

2008-07-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

Today had been a good day. I miss you two, Luci and Aly. can we please meet soon?

i'm so proud of you.

Decisions, Decisions

2008-06-30T18:33:00.000-07:00

Crap, i'm having a difficult time getting a dance partner now. Not that no one has asked me, too many people asked me! And now, i'm spoilt for choice. See? Sometimes having more options isn't so much of a good thing. Now when i pick one, i'll have to answer to the other 2. I find myself lucky at times. There are girls desperate to find a partner, yet here i am, with 3 to choose from. And the best part is, i didn't go to them, they came to me. Woots! Ah, the ironies in life =)

I lurvveee my new costume. it is so prettiful.

and it has been the first time in a week
i talk to you ,and i can't speak
it's been three whole days since i've had sleep
as i dream of your lips on her cheek

don't you want me back too?

2008-06-29T09:49:00.000-07:00

i get the point that i should leave you alone
but we both know i'm not that strong and
i miss the lips that made me fly

hey swen, i hope you'll have a great day ahead. you know i miss you, baby.

Viva La Vida

2008-06-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

Today i went down to Payar Lebar to find my dance costume.... and ended up wasting my time. The dance costumes there are damn UGLEH ! and when i said i don't like it, they'll give the pissed off face. WHAT THE HELL.

so i decided to buy the more expensive, custom made in singapore, extremely revealing one from my senior. It's more expensive cus it has Swarovski crystals on it, PREETTAYYY! It's like, two-piece, bare-backed kinda thing. i drew it out for mom and had this damn long speech about why it's okay to wear it, before she would let me buy. I'm paying for it myself la. mY mom offered, of course, but i feel that i'm old enough to pay for these stuff myself.... And it's only when i pay for myself, i'll take extra care for it, right? we might be going to Malaysia for competition this august. =D

I'm so lucky , i've got so many opportunities to travel this year!

Katie don't cry, I know

You're trying your hardest

And the hardest part is letting go

Of the nights we shared

Ocala is calling

And you know it's haunting but

Compared to your eyes

Nothing shines quite as bright

And when we look to the sky

It's not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight

I know he's there and

You're probably hanging out and making eyes

While across the room he stares

I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor

And ask my girl to dance, she'll say "yes"

Because these words were never easier

For me to say, or you to second guess

But i guess, that i can live without you but

Without you i'll be miserable at best

He doesn't miss me

2008-06-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

Today was relatively well-spent. After the PTH test, most of the class took 14 down to town. Half ate korean, the rest ate indonesian. I ate indonesian. It was pretty alright. After that i headed back to school for dance, and time really flew. Before i knew it, i danced for 4.5 hours. Not bad, eh? i know.

Any way, my club actually recommended me for some SP makeup artist thingy at on monday, where i'll have to be a model. Every CCA has to send 2 representatives for it. C-R-A-P. i hate modeling! AND DID I MENTION I'M A FAT-ASS-MOMMA??? i probably did in my previous posts, and i still am! I remember modeling several times in seconday school, for the prefectorial board and the best dressed for Racial Harmony Day. HAHAHA, Luci remember that time Mrs Jonoh wanted us to be models for the Learning Fiesta, and we had to wear this Xena-the-warrior-princess bra? OMGGGG. It was so funny when we were trying it on IN THE ART ROOM! Those were the times. I always find myself in embarrassingly awkward situations with you, Luci.

Oh btw i'm not sure if i can go tanning this Saturday... because if i'm joining the modeling thingy i have to be fair.. i think. I'm not sure about this whole thing, but i guess i'll just have to make the best out of the situation. I gotta learn to stop chickening out.

SO MUCH FOR "I LOVE YOU". I'm finally letting go. i think.

Miserable At Best

2008-06-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

A few reasons why my life suck:

1) I have not been productive

2)I have ALOT of work undone, e.g. tutorials, projects, cruise journalism thingy

3)I can't let go of him

4)I haven't really been studying for my exams

5)I regret quitting Changi Youth Ambassadors because it seems uber fun according to Danial

6)I didn't manage to get the wedges i wanted so badly today

7)I was 2 hrs late for dance lessons today because i kept hesitating whether i should buy the alternative wedges

8) I stood outside the dance studio for 1 hour because i kept hesitating to go for dance as i am late, i've got no partner, and i'm not joining the upcoming competition, so i'll be just some extra with no costume, no partner, dancing with the mirror. as always.

9) I have no dance partner because Danial's too busy and my target was snatched

10) As can be inferred from the previous points, i am INDECISIVE. bloody indecisive. And i always end up regretting my decisions anyway.

BUT AS OF TODAY I WILL STOP FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF!

Yes, but hopefully that wasn't just some in-spur-of-the-moment self-motivation line.I don't know what has gotten to me lately... and i do feel a change in myself. i used to be the one motivating my friends, telling them to waste no time feeling sorry for themselves and do something to fix the situation. i used to tell them to move on after a break up. i was the one who pushed them to study. but now ... i don't know what happened to me. I don't practice what i preach.

Today, i spent the early afternoon watching Ellen Degeneres on Youtube when i should have been studying. Then i went to Fareast with the intention of getting my smitten wedges but it was out of stock. Upset and determined to get similar wedges by today, i went to mondo, and contemplated about two wedges for about half an hour. In the end i left the shop without buying either of them because i simply don't love them. The shop assistant was so pissed, but who cares? Then on my way to the MRT i saw Danial and i gave him a call. He told me he's enjoying the CYA stuff so far. I'm happy for him, but i can't help but regret quitting CYA, because its so easy - just one night a week and so many CCA points. By the time i got to school for my dance lessons, i was already 2 hrs late. I thought it would be okay, and i could just join in, but when i took a peek into the studio, i totally chickened out. Everybody was in their dance costumes and with a partner. I didn't wanna be some loser hanging out without a costume, not joining the oncoming competition , with no partner, dancing by herself with the mirror. So i stood outside the studio, hesitating and contemplating. Then i rushed to the toilet and cried. Yes, i actually cried like a bimbo for a good whole 10 minutes. I was upset that i'm such a loser in life, and things just don't fall in place for me. So i called Jie. I am extremely grateful to have a great sister, whose advices are, as always, just what i need. She told me that i should dance for myself and not care about what others think. She said that if i truly love dancing, i don't need a costume , a partner, or even dance shoes to dance. These are superficial. i should dance for myself. Having a dance partner only enhances the dance, but it is ultimately up to the individual to make the dance a masterpiece. I don't need all these superficial stuff to make myself feel better. I decided that i'll just go for the stupid practice, to make my day worthwhile, since i haven't done anything productive. I cannot always depend on Jie and Luci to steer me into decision making all the time. I have to be independent. I have to grow up. When i finally wiped the tears away, and summoned enough courage to go into the studio, almost everyone was leaving. I stopped myself from running away again, sat down , put on my dance shoes, got up, and started dancing, with no costume, no partner, alone with the mirror. I danced until i was satisfied with myself, and it felt good. I didn't have to follow anyone else's pace, just mine. It was all about me.

So starting from tomorrow:

1) i will stick to my diets

2) i will study hard until i am satisfied with myself

3) i will stretch everyday until i can split

4) i will not procrastinate about my work

6) i will dance for myself

7) i will stop regretting and make the best out of the situation

8) i will stop gossipping (for real)

okay i know this is a damn draggyyyyy post.

But this is my blog, and i can do whatever i want, right?

Right now ,i want to make myself feel strong again.

So here is a trip down memory lane (the pictures), when i was as strong as a bull (mentally, of course).

I think i should start reading "Tuesdays With Morrie" again.

Here's to my newly-found self esteem.

Hey Jude by The Beatles

2008-06-12T06:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Jude, don't make it bad

take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude, don't be afraid

You were made to go out and get her

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better

And anytime you feel the pain

Hey Jude, refrain

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

For well you know its a fool

who plays it cool

by making his world a little colder

Hey Jude, don't let me down

You have found her, now go and get her

Remember to let her into your heart

then you can start to make it better

So let it out and let it in

Hey Jude, begin

You're waiting for someone to perform with

And you don't knoe that it's just you

Hey Jude, you'll do

The movement you need is on your shoulder

The Sweet Escape

2008-06-12T06:26:00.000-07:00

I'M BACK AGAIN! Cruise was a BLAASSSTTTT!! we just kept on eating and eating- buffets for breakfast, lunch and dinner, hahaha! There were alot of activities on the cruise too, like salsa classes, discos, production shows etc. very enjoyable. And the best thing is that we had alot of leisure time, and we could do almost anything we wanted. ok i dunno why my words are underlined,and blue, and i can't seem to de-underline it. Back to where i was saying, cruise was fun. More enjoyable than the shopping, i think. Thailand is so dirty and there's nothing much to buy, everything is the same. I got to spend alot of time with my class during this trip, and that's what makes it worth it. Argghhh, i'm sick... i think i'm gonna get a fever.Lucky i didn't fall sick during the cruise, hoorayy!

two, three, cha cha cha

2008-06-06T08:34:00.000-07:00

I'M BACK! For one day , that is. Just got back from camp, and it was really fun, minus the icebreaking games. I didn't bring any sneakers or track shoes, cus i was thinking "it's a DANCE CAMP, we'll just be dancing" But we needed it for the stupid games. Then there was a captain's ball game, and i really wanted to play because i miss netball, so i decided to play barefooted ( damn smart ah!). In the end, we won the game but i got blisters on the soles of my feet! I was suffering the rest of the camp la... especially during intensive dance training (yes, i chose to continue dancing). And i have cip and cruise, so my feet won't have ample time to recover, boohoo... and i'll be wearing the killa topshop heels for the Captain's Gala Cocktail! die man die man. Can you imagine dancing on blisters? hurts like crazy man! i was reminded of "The Little Mermaid" , because every step she took with her new legs, it felt like knives piercing through her feet. And every step i take gives me tremendous pain. Imagine what i had to endure during the dance training, hah!

Then there was a pajamas disco party, when we all wear our PJs and dance under the disco ball. And after that, we had night walk, which was super fun, just that i had no energy. The seniors really put a lot of effort in the night walk, like the costumes, the sound effects and the tasks... too bad i was too sleepy to appreciate it. oh well. camp was fun

SAMBA SAMBA OOHLALA!

yellow

2008-06-02T22:59:00.001-07:00

Seriously ah. if 3 of us cant make a date to go tanning together, i think i dont mind going myself, cus ~ i'm feelin so yellow~ . Anyway, i went down to raffles yesterday, and i found this wuper cute dress!!! omg... and i have a sudden fettish for ripped denim skirts. i saw the perfect one at river island yesterday, but its literally a "rip"-off. today is my last free day. from tomorrow till friday, i've got dance camp, saturday i've got freaking CIP, and after that i gotta faster pack for cruise, cus cruise is from sunday to thursday. gosh, i'm feeling important too, teeheehee. Luciana yuka, you must put aside at least 3-4 days for me! i dont care. you see kenneth almost every other day, the guys every week, aly every tuesday. will call you to arrange after the cruise. you'll have to meet me, if you want your present! wahahaha

Say it again for me

2008-05-31T02:23:00.000-07:00

Just got home from meeting Aly..... like finally. We went to cityhall, got bubble tea and jco donuts (which thankfully didn't ruin my life), then we went to marina where i got my banana chocolate ice cream... sounds damn sick la, but its nice. i swear i've been eating ALOT of ice cream lately... and i told Aly that i'm not going to have ice cream for the whole month of June. about time i watch my diet. i'm such a fat-ass-momma.

Anyway, yesterday was the worst day in a long time. i was supposed to meet luci for dinner, but since my class ended earlier than hers, i went down to cityhall first,cus i assumed we'd be eating around there. but luci called and said she didn't wanna go to town, she wanted somewhere near her place, because her exams are next week, and she forgot i'm living at amk too. so, i tried to make the best outta my day, and went to amk hub to window shop a'lil, then i got home. BUT WOE BEHOLD! i realised i had no key, cus i told everybody i'll be having dinner with luci, so they didnt expect me to be home at 3.30pm. and the earliest time anybody would be home was at 9pm. crapppp. i had to drag my tired ass down to Bugis to meet jie to take her keys, as well as have dinner. While waiting for the bus to go to the train station, i got screamed at by a crazyman, was damn scared uh, so i decided to take the next bus, cus i didn't wanna take the same bus as him! then i missed my stop, and i had to have a loooonnnggg ride to Dover mrt instead. and i fell asleep on the bus, cus i was so tired, and when i woke up, my gosh there was this damn cute guy in the bus la! i bet i looked damn ugleh when i was sleeping can! so i got to bugis early and had to wait for jie. we had soup spoon for dinner, and i almost forgot to take the damn keys from her. i think i'll just kill myself if that happens! if you think i've already had enough bad happenings for a day, i'm not done yet. i got home to do my Statistics online test, for which we can do as many times as we want until we got a satisfied mark, but ihave to get it all done by 11.39pm. So by 11.35, i finally got 90%, but i decided that, since i've got 4 minutes more, why not give it another shot at a 100%. so when i finally submitted by 11.39, i found out that my results for that test was 70%. WHAT THE HELLL. yesterday wasn't my day AT ALL!!.

anyway, here are some recent pictures. my sister's friend gerald brought his dog pebble to my house. and some pictures are from today's reunion with aly.

Turn the clock around

2008-05-24T04:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i wish i could turn back time, when i was still living in bedok, when we would conference every night, meet every day etc. i'm not being a pessimist. i just dont have anything to rejoice about. literally.

anyway, here's a picture of me and a few of my classmates to show you guys.this was on"Formal day"

Better Together

2008-05-21T20:19:00.000-07:00

Now that i've officially moved out of the East, i guess it is inevitable that we would be distant. i mean. we dont even meet once a week. i know you guys have your own lives, and i've got mine , so there really isn't much we can do. i'll try not to be dampened , by knowing the fact that if you guys wanna talk to me, i'm just a phone call away... and so are you guys . It has really been eons ago since the three of us had a "girls day out". let's go tanning soon can? i NEED a tan. it's free anyway, since it's aly's turn to treat.

My life's been mundane, as usual. Apart from the projects and ccas, i've really not been up to ANYTHING. I've been procrastinating about my homework too, i don't know why but i just can't get in the study mood. And going to school is a chore. I only go because i have to. i don't socialise, don't feel like talking much in class. I haven't been myself lately. i feel... lifeless, bored, drained. My class is still divided, and it doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon. Well, i guess not everybody is flexible, and i'm trying to be. i don't have a clique/ best friend in school. i just don't have the energy for all these la...

OK, i'll try not to be a pessimist already. despite the "division", i have to admit that my classmates are the nicest people. At least they're genuinely nice, not like some people from our cohort in secondary school.

I don't look forward to anything anymore.

Fool again

2008-05-20T18:23:00.000-07:00

OK guys, i've officially moved to AMK . Hopefully for 2 yrs, as mommy promised. So here's the long story behind why i'm moving:

When my paternal grandmother passed away, she said in her will, that her house in AMK is to be given to me and my sister. Since both of us were under 21, we were not qualified to be trustees of the house, so, the house has no owner. We couldn't rent it out, because it would be illegal, since the house has no owner. So with nobody living there, the house has been empty for years. Jie turned 21 recently, but its not enough because i'm not 21. Mom says that if we stay in that house for a couple of years, HDB will then legalise the house, for god knows what reason, and THEN we can rent that out. And also, moving there will be more cost-effective, because we can rent the bedok the one out. If we continued living in the bedok one, we'd be losing money every month.

that's about it. anyway, i took a bus to school this morning, and it took like 1 hr 10 mins!! i was sitting with this cute guy from ngee ann poly, so it was ok, heeheehee. So the plan is, i take bus to school, then take train home (since i still have the concession). BTW, taking the train home WILL NOT shorten the traveling time! I ALREADY MISS THE EAST..... not forgeting blk 85... and our favourite bubble tea stall =(

Always Be My Baby

2008-05-11T23:41:00.000-07:00

HOORAAAYYY!!! finally met luci yesterday! Glad you and Danial could click well. Gosh i'm still UTTERLY TRAUMATIZED by what i saw on the bus....... goshhh... Well Luci after you left, we went to look for my dancing shorts, but couldn't find them. So we went to the Esplanade, then went home. i got my shorts at bedok interchange, at a complete ripoff!!
and it looks like pantys la. jie got hers at half my price. i feel so cheated. oh, next time when we meet, remind me to tell you what i promised to tell you.
ANDDDDDDDD I can't wait to see you and josh's band jam! when when when!!
and Aly, i'm free this sunday! *hint hint*
Luci dont forget to ask kenneth about the dance lessons. ok. it'll be great it you can join, then we'll see each other every week! stupid aly. too bad for you then since you so unenthu.
By the way, if you're wondering what the hell i saw on the bus that's soooooo EXTREMELY traumatising, i saw a guy's genitals. YES! DAMN BLOODY SICK CAN!
i dunno what the hell that asshole was doing la. walao eh, i saw the FULL thing.

Say it like i mean it

2008-05-07T04:16:00.000-07:00

ok, i've cooled down. Today, Danial came over to my school cus we wanted to check out the debate " men are redundant" by the SP debate club. We were greeted by this damn rude girl . the conversation was like:

sheryl to jill, " hi! what's your name?"

jill to sheryl," jill. and this is danial. what's your name?"

sheryl to jill," sheryl"

sheryl to danial," what course are you from?"

danial to sheryl," property development"

sheryl to danial," property development ( screws face up) eee, boring "

sheryl to jill," what course are you from"

jill to sheryl," tourism"

sheryl to jill," eee, (screws up face) another boring course"

Like what's her problem la. in the end we found out that she's in media comm. NO BIG DEAL WHAT. My course is one of the hardest to get in ok, don't play play! In the end we left early, because when we went there we thought we were just going to be the audience, like blend in with the wall kind, but they expected us to take part too. and neither of us had the mood, so we just stood up and left, without saying anything. Like damn bad hor. But aiya we're not gonna see them again la. OH OH OH. i am officially a Changi Youth Ambassador! hoorayyy! Danial got in too. we plan on doing duty together =) Seriously ar, you guys should meet Dan. He's damn nice laaaaa.

2008-05-05T18:48:00.001-07:00

I just can't let go, can I? Sometimes i'm sure I'm better off without him. But I'm just trying to convince myself. I want him back. I want a second try. But i don't know if he'll want it too. This sucks. Everybody says i'll be better off without him. Everybody says there are better guys out there. But that's not the point. I'm still not over him. I want my baby back.

Melt the snow by Shayne Ward

2008-05-02T07:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes out my window

I notice that you've

been crying over him

And I wonder why you just don't

kick him to the curb

instead of giving in

You see love at first

is summer time

That's when you think that

everything's fine

No one ever thinks it's gonna end

But when things go wrong

and winter comes

You're gonna need to run to someone

Left alone you'll just

freeze up again

But you should know

when it gets too cold

you're not alone

I'll melt the snow

Some nights i can hear you

screaming on the phone over

something that he did

And i wonder what can i do

to make you throw him out

so you can let me in

You see, love at first

is summer time

That's when you think that everything's fine

No one ever thinks its gonna end

But when things go wrong

and winter comes

you're gonna need to run to someone

left alone you'll just freeze up again

But you should know

when it gets to cold

you're not alone

I'll melt the snow

..... thanks, old man.

come out, come out, wherever you are!!

2008-05-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! i've joined 2 ccas already- ballroom dancing+ changi youth ambassadors. i don't intend to go for the ballroom one already, cus they don't have salsa. So i guess i'll go for my old lessons. Luci, are you still up for it?

Anyway, i made a new friend at the changi youth ambassadors interview! i know la, ONE FRIEND ONLY, SO PATHETIC RIGHT. But this guy's different. Luci, i remember what you said about you and kenneth, like you can't stop talking because you guys have so many things to talk about, and i remember doubting that this is ever going to happen to me. However, i was just proven wrong. I have finally met somebody that i genuinely have a lot of things to talk about. besides you guys of course. His name is danial, and he's half malay, half chinese, and no, i didn't add him on friendster so you guys can't check him out... yet. He's a hell of a nice guy man, and i'm sure he'll click well with the both of you. He's a John Mayer fan too, so while waiting for the interview, we sang a couple of songs. Damn funny la.

Anyway, in response of your lesbian sms, luci, i miss you too. and... we're (me and him) not doing so well. He stopped texting and calling me. and when i text him, he didn't reply. And i bet he's appearing offline now to avoid talking to me, because he logged in to friendster within the last 24 hours. I don't know why he's suddenly like that. i mean, he seems to be avoiding me, that jerk. When i'm with danial, i'd doubt the r/s i have with him. and by "him", i don't mean danial. danial seems to be more interested in my life than him. why can't he be more like danial. he doesn't seem to even give a shit about me la, that asshole. I know you guys already told me its not gonna work out... but somehow, i'm still unwilling to give him up. i just can't let go, not just yet. i guess the only thing that's gonna make me let go, is him telling me straight in the face that he doesn't wanna continue anymore. i mean, this hide and seek thingy's so lame la. i honestly don't know what to do about us now.

Yeah Yeah Woah~

2008-04-29T04:37:00.000-07:00

YAY jie's back from hawaii! And she bought a whole lot of stuff! i got Tiffinyish charm bracelet + 3 nail polish + 1 acrylic topcoat+ 1 nail polish remover+ 1 top/dress+ flower earrings+ 1 lipsmacker lip balm - yes the one you always see at the back of archie comics! Yay yay loves! The charm bracelet is my new favorite accessory now! Good bye to mom's old diamond ring, heh heh. She bought a whole lot of clothes, which means... I GET TO WEAR THEM TOO! REJOICE! But one thing's for sure, i'll never have a chance to borrow her Coach bag and other expensive stuff =( But i'm grateful enough for the things i got!Here are some of the stuff she gave me, and some pictures of hawaii!

no air ,no air

2008-04-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

I've got bangs now! damn pissed by the way. at first when i cut it at fareast with aly, it was too thick. so i decided to thin it A BIT , but the asshole of a hair dresser tried to be smart, so now i look like freakazoid, cus its too thin. crapppp.

Anyway, i'm meeting him tmr. yayness. =). i just hope he wont cancel it last minute.. haiya. i miss you guys la. next week's gonna be a super busy week. i don't think i can find time to meet up. stupid cca fair. stupid project. stupid tuition. thankfully, the next tuition'll be the last one, so i don't ever have to travel to bishan again, rejoice!!

It'll all get better in time

2008-04-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

Damn it. i won't be seeing him tomorrow. Gotta wait for one more hell of a week. Damn.

Anyway, i spent the entire day at home today, and went for dinner with grandma, when i have to listen to her bitch about my parents. I'm so immune to it already, that i didn't even bother standing up for them, because i know it's not gonna help. Crap la i miss my baby. damn unhappy that we can't meet!.

Jie's leaving for hawaii in 2 hrs. i guess i can stay up and see her to the door, since i can wake up late tomorrow because i'm not meeting him. I hope she'll have a safe trip. I gonna miss her. Sure, we bicker all the time, but somehow i feel that we're close, in our own way.

I'm sorry, i'm just too upset that i'm not meeting him tomorrow. I've gotta learn to let go of things. Like, when i have a fight with a friend, everybody would just advice me to let it go. Forget about that friend. But somehow i can't do it. Its like no matter how bad things got with YiLei, i still miss the good times. Same with Pak. i just can't...... let go. And now that i'm upset about tomorrow, you'll probably just ask me to forget it. just find something else to look forward to. Just find another way to spend my day. I just cant help but feel upset, ok? the irony lies in the fact that, I USED TO SAY THE SAME THINGS TO MY FRIENDS WHENEVER THEY'RE IN MY POSITION. I guess i have no right to give anybody advice anymore. i don't practice what i preach.

Well, i'll be meeting up with the girls tomorrow, which is something to look forward to. The last time we met up was eons ago. I miss you girls. I'm sorry i got all my priorities wrong. I've just been too screwed up lately. Results of thinking too much. But its getting better, as i've got school to distract me. Gosh i sound like some emo kid. OK, stop it!

Looking forward to spending the day with you girls now =) plus Mark. Hahaha!

Paint my love

2008-04-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

Can't sleep, waiting for nails to dry. And also for luci to call. She's busy talking to mark . Yay, i called swen just now. He has his stupid excursion tomorrow, ahahaha. Crap i'm tired. But i can't sleep yet, because i know i'll wake up tomorrow morning and hate myself when i look at the state of my nails.

I wish i didn't have to think so much.

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colours

2008-04-18T04:18:00.000-07:00

Today i brought my hp laptop to school for self-certification ( basically installing stuff), which took like 2 hrs i think. The guy was nice enough to help me , so i didn't really do anything much myself, and the entire process was much faster than usual. This hp laptop of mine is super ugleh compared to the Mac one. But i had no choice, because my school uses windows xp only, and they don't accept mac. I am an avid mac user. i'm so foreign to the applications here in this lappie. This lappie had been kept away for about 4 years i think. Nobody was using it. It is understandable that, with a mac, who would want to use the hp, right? Anyway, i'll just be using this for school, and after i graduate, i'll probably get a silver macbook . Yay! Mac is the best la. It has no virus at all. I have been using a mac for 3 years, and it has never let me down ( never crash before). This hp one has been crashing for as long as i can remember. Haiya. i'll see how it goes la.

Breathless

2008-04-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

I'M SOOOO TIRED I CAN JUST DROP DEADDDD!!

But i have to charge the ipod for my sis, so i decided to blog a bit before i head off to lala land. Well, today's Formal Day for DTRM students, which means we have to wear working clothes. I was reminded of how luci, aly and i were supposed to have our " Work Day Day". But aly was too unenthu to dress up. How typical of her. So, school was quite OK, except the Accounts tutorial. The tutor was just so... wierd. Yes, wierd is the word to describe him. I can't decide if he has an accent, because he doesn't sound foreign, and neither does he sound local. Its like he pronounces words like a foreigner, but he has a singaporean accent. Just try putting that together, and you'll get what i mean by wierd.

I had a great start to the day, because i had an unexpected wake-up call from baby =D. The poor thing's suffering in NDU now, hahaha, with so many tormenting tests. Its like, the other time they had to run for 10 km before doing their NAPHA test. That was so mean la. Yay can't wait to see him!

Oh, i didn't explain why i'm so tired today. School ended at 4pm, and i had tuition at 7pm. Since there's no point going home for 1 hour, i decided to head to town to look for skirts. I bought a cute skirt from WH ( i can imagine aly's expression now) in my favourite colour. Then after that i rushed to tuition, where i had a really hard time teaching this p2 boy. I spent like 15 mins explaining to him why when you can get 3 apples for $1, you can get 30 apples with $10. Seriously man, i tried all methods - using my fingers, stationaries and sweets. But like what Luci said, there's a reason why he needed help.

THEN THEN THEN, i met my childhood friend at the bus stop la! We were friends like a decade ago, when we would meet everyday to play. She was in Bedok South too, but i never had the courage to approach her because i wasn't sure if it was her. Just now when i saw her, i smiled at her, expecting her to just smile back thinking that i was just some girl from her Secondary school, but she walked to me and started a conversation. So i was thinking, aiya what the heck, i'll just clarify with her if she really was my childhood friend. So I did. And so she was. We were both struck dumb by the fact that we really were close friends a decade ago. Her name's Amira by the way. And we had a good time laughing about the past on our way home =)

Well i had a long but eventful day. Crap, Jie spotted me blogging. I'm so embarrassed, but whatever la.

2008-04-16T05:31:00.000-07:00

It's not a silly little moment

It's not the storm before the calm

This is the deep and dying breath of

This love that we've been working on

Can't seem to hold you like i want to

So i can feel you in my arms

Nobody's gonna come and save you

We've pulled too many false alarms

We're going down

And you can see it, too

We're going down

And you know that we're doomed

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room

I was the one you always dreamed of

You were the one i tried to draw

How dare you say it's nothing to me

Baby, you're the only light i ever saw

I'll make the most of all the sadness

You'll be a bitch because you can

You'll try to hit me just to hurt me

So you leave me feeling dirty

Cause you can't understand

We're going down

And you can see it too

We're going down

And you know that we're doomed

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room

someday someday

2008-04-16T03:10:00.000-07:00

SURPRISE! i finally have a blog! My friends, i know you guys are probably thinking that i'm contradicting myself my starting a blog, but before you guys start shooting sarcasms at me, let me explain myself. Well, i was thinking, since i'll be going to a different school from you guys (which means we'll seldom get to meet up), i decided to start a blog, to keep you posted of what i've been up to, and i can just read yours , so we don't have to go through the tedious process of updating each other when we finally meet up.

Well, Luciana yuka i'm gonna miss you soooo much. After being best friends with you for 3 years, i guess i've grown to be dependent on you in many ways. I won't be used to not having you by my side for awhile, but i guess i'll just have to grow up, and be independent. I'm so thankful to have you as my friend, and i know we're gonna be friends for a long time. You were always the stronger one, steering me to the right direction everytime i got lost, always giving me your honest opinions, and most of all, you were always there for me, looking out for me and protecting me. I remember how we used to have really heated discussions everytime we did an essay together, and that was why we loved doing essays together- to have someone to argue with. Without a doubt, luci, i know you will always be there for me, in anyway, as you always have been. And for that, i am appreciative and grateful. Study hard in school ok? i know you'll do well. I love you, luci. Yes i know this is damn lesbian but i don't care!

Aly the Waly, i haven't forgotten you! I also haven't forgotten that you're paying for the next tanning trip! hahaaa! No excuses this time! Remember how we were damn lesbian for a period of time - conference every night, meet up everyday, change in small dressing rooms! Hahaha! Well, i'm gonna miss you too Aly Waly. You la, laugh at me for going to SP ! Now you regret cus my school got alot of hunks, AHAHAHA( points index finger at you)!Oh, did i tell you that our favourite new urban male guy is in my school too? HAHAHA, loooosssseeeerrr! =)